An Old Soul

"You have an old soul".

"Your tastes are so ecclectic."

"You're so weird."

Weird.  That is what I've been called my whole life.  I was a child with little or no friends.  I didn't talk to anyone aside from my family.  I felt... different.  And people always treated me different.  As I grew older, I began asking why everyone talked to me and treated me this way.  Am I not the same as everyone else?  Maybe I am different.  Maybe sitting and looking at old album covers in complete silence for 3 hours is weird.  Maybe reading the World Book Encyclopedia (1976 edition) from Volume A to Volume R (The rest were missing), is weird.  Maybe trying to always know the right answer to all questions is weird.

Well, I didn't think it was weird.  To me, that stuff was normal.  Reading medical textbooks and encyclopedias for hours was a normal thing for me. I would listen to Sam Cooke, or Benny Goodman for hours on end.  I would rather sit inside and read than go outside and play.  And people don't do what I do.  Why don't they?

And therein lies my paradox.  The search for understanding.  Why is what I do weird, and what you do not?

I've yet to meet someone who has asked themselves or others "How am I different and why?"  At least actively.  But I've found, over many years, that that is alright.

Wow, that was a lot of saying nothing and I am not disappointed with it.  Basically, what things boil down to is that I am different, and weird, and have esoteric knowledge with no relevance to anyone or anything.  The question is, how do I move forward in my life, knowing and feeling these things that breed insecurity, and foster lack of confidence?

It's simple: Love yourself and live yourself.  It is so simple.  If you don't love yourself, how can you give love to another?  If you don't live for yourself, how can you live for another?  Build yourself up, with knowledge, and strength, and then go out in the word.  And because the people around you do not do this, you're going to be weird in that society, but you will have the strength of character buy building a foundation.

What else needs to be said?